Fake Tan Sample Man

I got some goods – where’s the boss?
Are they any good – who gives a toss,
I got whisky in my boot – it’s the sweet bait, gets the loot.

Bloodshot eyes, company ties,
I got my fingers in a lot of pies.
I’m a fake tan sample man.

Let’s play some golf and I’ll steal your soul,
And nail that deal in the nineteenth hole.
I’m a fake tan sample man.

Fake tan man is phoney,
He’s false in every way,
Fake tan, fake smile, fake Rolex,
My black hair is really grey.

Fake tan man is lonely,
He couldn’t keep his wike,
She said “Wake up Colin  – and get yourself a life!”

Mr Big and Mr Small,
You’ll lose your lunch in the conference hall.
I’m a fake tan sample man.