The Curse of Liberace’s Tomb

Creeping at night through Forest Lawns,
Where the night is darkest before the dawn,
I leant on a crypt as I paused for breath,
I felt a shock like the kiss of death,
Little did I know as I stood in the gloom,
I’d been hit by the curse of Liberace’s tomb.

I woke the next day feeling half dead,
There were twin candelabra by the side of my bed,
Rhinestone sheets with a white fur trim,
The situation was looking grim
Two huge glitter balls lit up the room,
I’d been hit by the curse of Liberace’s tomb.

I felt deadly, winking, sniggering and snuggling,
Chrome-plated, perfumed, luminous and quivering,
A giggling, fruit-flavoured gift from above,
Candy coloured, gift wrapped hunk of mother love.

I walked to the mirror, what did I see,
An oompah loompah tan looking back at me,
I felt like a spray painted sequined king,
On each of my fingers was a diamond ring,
Like a jilted bride waiting for a groom,
I’d been hit by the curse of Liberace’s tomb.

I walked to the window losing my cool,
I saw the keys of a piano-shaped swimming pool,
A pink Rolls Royce standing by the gate,
A blue coated chauffeur said ‘Hi I’m your date”,
I hit my head as I jumped to my doom,
To escape from the curse of Liberace’s tomb.

When I came to I was lying cold and wet,
The sprinklers on the lawn hit me with their jet,
Still in the graveyard where the famous lie,
Under a clear blue L.A. sky,
Was it supernatural forces or toxic fumes,
I’m never going back to Liberace’s tomb.