Folks, I Swear It’s True

I found Bigfoot – in a shallow grave,
Way back yonder – in the Everglades,
Tried to keep him – but I had no luck,
Got kidnapped by Elvis in an ice cream truck,
So just between me and you – folks I swear, I swear it’s true.

Had a rainstorm – just the other day,
And there was frogs – in my parking bay,
I rubbed my eyes – and went back to bed,
A twenty pound hailstone hit me on the head,
So just between me and you – folks I swear, I swear it’s true.

The F – the F.B.I.
The F – the F.B.I.
Cover up all the weird stuff that happens to folks you and I.

Hid in the sewer – ‘cos I knew that was wrong,
Was it the start – of arm-a-ged-ion?
There’s something in – the water twisting my brain,
A thirty foot alligator chased me out the drain,
So just between me and you – folks I swear, I swear it’s true.

The whole damn thing –was getting out of hand
I came across – a yew-fo in the sand,
Pushed out my thumb – said “you going my way?”
‘cos it belonged to Walt Disney and the pilot’s J.F.K,
So just between me and you – folks I swear, I swear it’s true.