The Cerne Abbas Giant (Turned My Baby’s Head).

I took a trip out in my Morris Traveller car,
With a wicker picnic set – we didn’t go too far,
Just a sight seeing outing, me and her,
It turned into something sinister,
The recollection fills me with dread,
’Cos the Cerne Abbas Giant turned my baby’s head.

We were sitting in a lay-by drinking a cup of tea,
When her eyes glazed over staring way past me,
She started to shake, her face was a mask,
She almost dropped the thermos flask,
A passer-by caught my eye and said,
“The Cerne Abbas Giant’s turned your baby’s head.

Now he’s got an ancient ability,
To bring about thoughts of fertility,
A Herculian figure beyond compare,
And he ‘aint sporting no underwear!

I turned around and there he was carved in the chalk,
I sized him up and said “now baby we have to talk”
I got her in the car, drove to the pub,
She whispered something ‘bout the size of his club,
The landlord’s voice was filled with dread,
“The Cerne Abbas Giant’s turned your baby’s head.

I paid shrink to look inside her mind
I was scared of what he might find,
They talked about the Rude Man on the hill,
And how he gave her a secret thrill,

We’ve got a big old house with a meadow in the rear,
And there’s a replica giant carved out here,
Now our romance has been re-born,
She walks round his outline and mows his lawn,
We stood on his middle when we got wed,
Despite the Cerne Abbas Giant turning my baby’s head.